Josh Freese’s ‘My New Friends’ Packages

Josh Freese’s “My New Friends” Packages

Josh Freese My New Friends Packages

How does Josh Freese plan on making dough this year? Well, by offering a wide range of twisted (or avant-garde?) package deals for fans to purchase. “Fuck freemium,” Freese said. “I’ve got four kids and I’m a freelance rock ’n’ roll drummer in 2011 that needs to get paid.” Here are some highlights of Josh Freese’s My New Friends Packages for sale (all packages include additional offerings):

$10,000 package:

“’Motorboat’ Sarah for a minute or so (Josh’s wife’s friend … couples welcome, discreet parking available). Engage in light ’80s hair metal/pinup girl gossip’ w/Tommy [Lee], Josh and [Danny] Lohner while a ‘C List porn star’ applies ‘corpse paint’ to your astonished face.”

$7,500 package A:

“Engage in light ’80s hair metal/pinup girl gossip’ w/Tommy [Lee], Josh and [Danny] Lohner while a 'C List porn star' applies 'corpse paint' to your astonished face.” Next you’ll be escorted to the opulent gardens of Castle Renhold’r, where the four of you will be Throwing Bones under the midnight moon in a blasphemous attempt to evoke the spirit/entity of your choice! (BYOB).”

$7,500 package B:

“Get a mani/pedi with Twiggy [Ramirez] and Josh followed by a body wrap or massage.”

$7,500 package C:

The Offspring singer “Dexter Holland will fly you and Josh up to San Luis Obispo” to enjoy lunch at the Madonna Inn.

$7,500 package D:

“Cruise down to Hollywood Park with [Johnny] Knoxville and Josh to bet on horses for the afternoon” and get a copy of Freese’s 5th grade report card.

$350 package:

“Take Josh to lunch at PF Changs in Long Beach.”

$125 package:

Get “all three of Josh’s solo CDs (The Notorious One Man Orgy, Since 1972 and My New Friends)” plus a thank you phone call from Freese, a set of signed drumsticks and a “mystery item.”

$50 package:

“Thank you phone call from Josh for purchasing his record,” plus My New Friends CD Digipak, Since 1972 CD/DVD and an “I Heart Josh Freese’s New Friends” bumper sticker.

Traditional, but boring offers include a $12 CD digipak of My New Friends and a $5 download.

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